Forward and Buck trust that refusal is the trigger of obsessive love. They state four conditions to help recognize it, namely, a painful and all-consuming preoccupation with a real or wished-for lover, a greedy longing either to have or be possessed by the intention of their obsession, rejection by or physical and/or emotional unavailability of their target, and being driven to behave in self-defeating ways by this rejection or unavailability.
Obsessive lovers really consider that their “one magic person” alone can make them experience happy and fulfilled. Obsessive love can also have a big affect on certain individuals close the "love addicted" person. These people are the silent victims sitting in corner and on the sidelines. The relationship of their friend or family member conveys deep angst and distress to them for having to see a person they are close up to disintegrate, figuratively, right in front of them and be mixed into this controlling with controlled life style.